Got that instant inspiration to write.

Been reading a lot, contemplating on what I should be doing from now on. Now that I quit working and have the previlege (and time) to step back and reflect.

I was raised in a modest family. I knew how much my parents earned and their expenses since I was a little kid. They have been very transparent about it and I thanked them for that. Ever since, I knew that there was nothing I could do to take me places and to have options, but to study hard. That was my only option. I didn't have the privilege to buy fancy stuffs or to travel. My first flight experience was my first business trip at the age of 22. My parents budgeted only the primary needs: eat well and education. That did not mean we eat out or go abroad to school either. I knew since the very beginning that I had to go to the best public school in the country. That stayed in my brain, in my mind, in my prayers since I was a kid. I literally pray to God to grant my wish to becoming an ITB student in a prestigious major. He did grant my wish, all praise to him. I must say it was a hard journey. I took private courses to prepare the test since my 2nd grade in high school. And to enter the best high school in the town, I took private courses to prepare the test since the third year of my junior high school. For that, and for my english (and french) extra courses, my parents worked really hard to pay all the fees. I got a job as soon as I graduated. No fancy holiday, no nothing. I had to live on my own ever since. After few months working, I got accepted in the most prestigious technical university in The Netherlands for my master's degree. Got as well a scholarship to pay all the tuitions and half the living cost. Half of living cost a month is around 3 to 4 millions Rps, not that much for today's standard. But that too was out of reach. I was broken hearted, but the rest is history. I got another full scholarship in France and followed by so many other blessings Allah granted me.

As an introvert, I knew I had to get out of my nut shell and start to convince people how much I worthed. I worked hard on my english (and french) and be very comfortable with it whenever I had to do interviews and write.

I guess the combination of these two: good school (with mentions) and good foreign language(s) skill, plus DOA MAMA and Allah's blessings that led me to where I am now. Alhamdulillah.

I am 38. In my case, it's the age where you start to wonder. I have a 9 and a 4 years old children. Both are at school so i do have time in between. I got a not too bad career path. Part of the success I had was also much influenced by patience and resilience, not only from me but also from my family. You know how brokenhearted it felt to skip your children's show at school or to find them asleep waiting for you to get home from work. But work was never as easy and as passionate as it sounds. Having had to perform at the expectations that you were not actually qualified for, impossible pitches, lack of coaching and literally being left alone are just some of the nuisances I had to go through.

But I guess all these patience and resilience resulted in me having options. One of them is to opt for quitting my job and reflect. The reflection is still going on, for a lifetime but at least I got to experience what I have been wanting to, stay at home. I have never stopped working/studying for 35 years of my life (i started school at the age of 2,5 and maternity leave excluded).

My kids saw me struggling, but they also saw me raising a white flag. They saw me exhausted and excited. Now it's time to show them the searching process to something one day I will be proud to call it my legacy. Bismillah.