have you met the mellowest person on earth?

introducing, myself.

i'm sad, i cry.
i bleed, i cry.
i'm happy, i cry.
i'm touched, i cry.
i'm angry, i cry.
i'm surprised, i cry.
i'm proud, i cry.
i'm in love, i cry.

so what do tears represent when they stream from my eyes?
many things.
including last nite.
when you said the words for the first time.

today is incubus day

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

i told him how i felt. i no longer have the same belief in the power of pray as i had when i was a child. it was last night.
this afternoon, i received a shocking news. and how the almighty has the power to everything, i do need to pray. i need everyone to pray. for what she had said this morning, is the least thing i want to hear right now.
please, be strong :(

Later, i turned out the light and lay there thinking. When we were quiet with each other, I was able to see how close I felt to him.
Neither of us has said anything. Love doesn't need to be discussed; it has its own voice and speaks for itself. That night, by the well, the silence had allowed our hearts to approach each other and get to know each other better. My heart had listened closely to what he said, and now it was content.

pg 68 by the river piedra i sat down and wept

le moment ou il m'a dit que c'etait moi la premiere personne qu'il appelait cherie, je me suis apercue qu'il m'offrait qqchose de pas banale, et que je pouvais plus me porter comme j'etais d'avant car cet homme et ce qui se passe entre nous deux etaient si precieux.

souvenirs from bandung

inget lagu rida,sita, dewi yang ini?

melihatmu di sampingku
saat aku terjaga dari tidur
genap isi mimpi

ku tau kau merasakan
semua yang kau lakukan untukku
tak dapat ku urai dengan kata-kata

tapi saat kau tak di sini
dunia terasa sepi
tanpa hadirmu

bila esok tiba
kau akan kembali
bukan aku meragukanmu
tapi sungguh ku tak ingin
engkau jauh dari diriku

terasa lama menanti
agar kita bisa bersama lagi
di sini hadirmu

entah mengapa tampaknya
semua bagai ilusi bagiku
ketika engkau tak ada di sisiku

walau hanya tuk sementara
rinduku terbelenggu
jarak antara kita

bila esok tiba
kau akan kembali
bukan kau tak setia padaku
tapi sungguh ku tak ingin
engkau jauh dari diriku

kusimpan rasa rindu
menyelami keheningan di sini
dan malam pun menjelang
dan malam pun menghilang...

gotta get back to balikpapan, back to work, but the thought of you remains

liburan yuk?

rute liburan yang sudah sangat familiar:

balikpapan-jakarta-bandung-jakarta-balikpapan

but somehow, this vacation feels so much more special than ever :)

these days

13-08
a day to remember :)

15-08
Happy 59th birthday to Mamah
and 26th birthday to Anis

16-08
Happy 61st birthday to Bapa

Wishing you all happiness in this world and the world after.
Thanking you for being special persons in my life.

"ses personnes"

jeje, je vais voir un concert de jazz, fourplay, tu connais?

c'est sympa
2 blacks et 2 blancs et ça groove
tu vas bien aimer

merki mon jej :)
sinon, j adore leur musique!

là y a mas soeur on a parlé juska 2 h du mat
je suis naz

c ta soeur de l'angleterre?
pourquoi pas tu passes tes vacances en angleterre? ;)

elle est là une semaine
et après peut être j'irai
elle me manquait

je voies :)
parler jusqua 2 h du mat :)
jej a partir du septembre je donne des cours de la petrophysique ds une ecole privee.
les eleves sont pas tres tops compare a ceux du java, donc j espere que ca sera pas trop dur.
c pas pour le fric, c l histoire de partager.
qu est ce que t en penses?
tu penses que j'ai la capacite pour ca?
ca m inquiete...

je te rassure tout de suite
t la fille la plus intelligente et sérieuse que j'ai jamais rencontré
alors t'inquiètes pas
franchement
tu n'auras aucun pb!
en plus t'as des qualités humaines importantes
pour un prof
tu t remets en question et t'écoutes l'autre
t'auras aucun pb

ouuuuuu jej, merkiiiii :)
que tu me manques!!!

c gentil
toi aussi
et je me suis aperçu
avec ma soeur qui revient
que ça fait du bien de revoir "ses personnes"
je me fais un peu chahuter par des gens
elle les a cassées
ça va mieux maintenant

qu-est-ce que tu veux dire par "ses personnes"?
et qui osent chahuter??
raconte moi le detail jej!!
ca m enerve!

je veux dire les gens qu'on aime bien
par exemple toi arif ma soeur raf etienne etc
mes potes quoi
chahuter
c pas grd chose
se foutre de ma gueule en gros
parce ke je suis célibataire

c gentil jej :)
et suis contente que tu vas mieux en parlant avec ta soeur :)
fo mieux que t ecoutes pas trop ce que disent les gens car ils savent de quoi ils parlent, ecoute plutot "ses personnes" :)
enfin, tu sais deja tout ca mon jej

c vrai
en tout cas profite bien du concert
ça va être cool

merki encore jej,
toi aussi
profite bien de ton we ;)

2 jours 1 nuit en dehors du borneo

je suis completement dingue!!!
enfin, pas a fond, mais quand meme.
a condition que la-bas, j'aie un guide, sans frais et disponible a tout moment,
rien m'empecherait d'aller voir "le show" dimanche.
j'ai hate de passer de bons moments avec toi monsieur!

everything doesn't feel right.
doesn't work as i want it to.
having a bad mood.
hopefully it's just one of those pms syndromes.
i'll get over it.

one thing that can make me smile today is my nephew's picture on aa's blog. see u in a week qimoy!

080805

just had a call from a friend in tour coupole, la defense. it strucked my mind, that today, a year ago, was the 1st day i worked in that building. hehe it's a funny feeling.

what's wrong with august?

everyone's leaving.
for vacation, for new job, new city, new country.
some people say, it's always easier for those who leave, and harder for ones left behind. i remember the day when i had to leave for france. i was so excited that i forgot how others would react to my departure. i didn't shed a tear that time. i heard after that my mom was crying, but me not. was i being selfish? was the excitement of living in a whole new different world so all-over-me that i didn't pay too much attention to my loved ones? hmm...

so, all of you people who are leaving. i should say, enjoy your vacation, enjoy your new place. i thank you all for every moment we have shared. good or bad, i believe i learned my lesson. who knows our path will cross again one day :)

as for me, i'm leaving as well less than 2 weeks now ;) to my hometown bandung, to see my lately-so-active nephew, to share moments with my family, and with you.














off course i'll come back to balikpapan :) it's only some five days vacation :)

C'est normal chez les femmes, de dire "desolee".
And i respond to his statement, les mecs ils disent pas desole, ils s'en foutent.

It was a short conversation between me and my-soon-will-be-leaving boss this afternoon. My mistake, un-intended though. I excused, but then he said (in english) "it's normal for ladies to say sorry" and i answered "men don't say sorry, they just don't care".

It was all joking i'm sure. And tomorrow we will have the last Tunu lunch at his place, before his departure next week.